Mine.

your love is gonna drown

2009-12-24T19:13:53Z

Candlelight Service at Peace. 5 pm.
Christmas Eve dinner at Aunt Lauralie's. 7 pm.
Catholic Mass. 12 am.

Let us celebrate.
Celebrate the only thing that truly matters.
=]

burning eyes, burning heart

2009-12-23T16:57:25Z

I've got a killer cold.
Thank you Luke Maloney.

And also, I don't know anything.
Don't ever let me think I do.

colds in the cold

2009-12-21T22:23:29Z

I don't have enough clarity to give you any type of idea on what's going on.

change change change

2009-12-13T18:35:45Z

One year ago life was very different for me.
I read my journals, and look back on my life and feel like a stranger.
I no longer feel such things.
I no longer am that person.
Not only do I like who I am now.
But I love who I am now.
I wholeheartedly love who I'm becoming.

all of you

2009-12-08T18:30:58Z

"You may tire of me.
As our December sun is setting.
Because I'm not who I used to be."

There's alot of feelings going on.
Of all sorts.
I have to try not to convince myself of anything.
Just to feel.

you might not be mine to love, i might not be mine to give

2009-12-07T04:45:31Z

My stomach hurts alot.
But I'm still not as worried as I'd think I'd be.
Life is amazing.
My Lord is amazing.
My Lord is the world.
All of it.

I think I've got some repair work to do.
Alot actually.

sunshine

2009-12-05T17:31:14Z

I get it now.
It all makes more sense than I thought possible.

when it rains

2009-12-03T02:59:05Z

Just keep telling me I won't ruin this.
Please.
I kind of ruin everything.
Believe it or not, I've calmed down quite a bit lately.
This is me calmer than before.
That's a scary thought.

And you you you.
Is this it?
This is where my journal ends?
That's what happens?
How anticlimactic.
Is this even possible?
I may be too in love to let it go.
But I don't think it's supposed to happen this way.
Or maybe it is.
And I'm in denial.

your heart is an empty room

2009-11-30T09:48:47Z

I live to glorify the Lord.
I want nothing more than to have what God wants for me.
My selfish and pety desires to be washed away.
I want to be exactly what God wants me to be.
No matter what, I've always whispered, "I trust you."
And I've always meant it.

A night without sleep is not a big deal.
Because I'd rather invest the time in a friend.

people tend to disappear

2009-11-28T17:39:10Z

I've come to discover that I'm one of two things.
Either.
Simple in a really complicated way.
Or.
Complicated in a really simple way.
I don't know which one though.

you ran straight into my world

2009-11-27T22:29:08Z

What a lovely night.
And what a lovely morning.
I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way.
And that's really what it boils down to.
Am I the only one who feels this?

yar scurvey self be aprreciat'in this

2009-11-26T02:11:36Z

For the record, Pirate language on facebook is the greatest thing ever.

And also.
It's so very apparent how different we all are now.
I'm glad though.
The only thing is, I think this might be happening to early.
Shouldn't this happen in about a year?
I'm probably the only one who feels it.
It's always just me.
Well, I am a year ahead so that would make sense.
I don't know.

I do know that my body is quite aware of what's going on.
As far as that's concerned.
It's in sync with my heart.
It really always has been.

"If I told you things I did before
Told you how I used to be
Would you go along with someone like me?
If you knew my story word for word
Had all of my history
Would you go along with someone like me?

I did before and had my share
It didn't lead nowhere
I would go along with someone like you
It doesn't matter what you did
Who you were hanging with
We could stick around and see this night through

And we don't care about the young folks
Talking about the young style
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking about the old style too
And we don't care about their own faults
Talking about our own style
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you

Usually when things has gone this far
People tend to disappear
No one will surprise me unless you do

I can tell there's something going on
Hours seems to disappear
Everyone is leaving, I'm still with you

It doesn't matter what we do
Where we are going to
We can stick around and see this night through

And we don't care about the young folks
Talking about the young style
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking about the old style too
And we don't care about their own faults
Talking about our own style
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you

And we don't care about the young folks
Talking about the young style
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking about the old style too
And we don't care about their own faults
Talking about our own style
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you
Talking only me and you

Talking only me and you
Talking only me and you"

That's the song.
=]

shine Your light

2009-11-25T01:08:52Z

Something's happening here.

1. We're stronger than this. Right? There's movement here. An unfamiliar shift that I don't understand. And it scares me. I swear it does. I can't lose you.
2. All I know is that I don't know anything. And that's why I think I know. Just wait for it. And it will all make sense.
3. I've never seen anything but you. Ever. Even if someone else was in the backround, they've always been out of focus. Is it possible for you to become out of focus? Or is this how it will always be? Even if someone else takes center stage, you'll still remain there, for everyone to see?
4. I'm really enjoying you. I just want to hang out with you all of the time.
5. And to you guys. Why is everything so different? It's so different that it almost hurts. You're not the life I want anymore.

i just want to believe in us

2009-11-24T01:11:17Z

I miss you.
I do, I promise.
I hope you're keeping safe.

On an entirely different subject.
It is so hard to be patient with my mother when she acts the way she does.
Questioning the motives of everything.
What are her motives in all this questioning?
She's not asking because she wants to know.
It's a witch hunt with her.
And it always has been.

the two of you alter

2009-11-22T19:25:20Z

I had a wonderful amazing time this weekend.
With all these new people "dominating" my life.
Especially last night.
And especially Kat Howarth and Matthew Windseth.
Those people are special in every sense of the word.

Alter. Alter. Alter.
Humans are amazing.
God is so great.
So great.

And I can already tell exactly what this week will mean.

tie-dyed sanctuaries and zombies

2009-11-21T19:31:18Z

I've never been so glad things are the way they are, than right now.
I don't want it.
I'm happier than I could have been.
I'm sure of it now.

On another note,
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Be safe.
I love you.
Really.
I do.

And other than that, but sort of related.
I'd like to say that the feeling I usually try to ignore or just accept and continue anyway.
That feeling inside me that tells that someone is wrong.
That continuing this is wrong.
It doesn't exist with you.
And I praise the Lord for that.
You're affecting my life.
And I can barely even speak about it because it's so suprising all the time.
I think one thing, but then I'm wrong.
And because I'm wrong so much and because this is suprising me so much.
That's why I believe it's right.
Trust me when I can tell.

just break me apart

2009-11-19T20:52:25Z

I am one with my experiences.
Afterall, life is a series of experiences.
Whether they're problems, interactions, complications, joyful happenings, etc.
I breathe through these experiences.
These little pieces of who I am.
I can take them and turn them into something beautiful.
Or I could destroy myself with them.
God forbid.
I can manipulate myself.
I can.
But I try not to.
I try to let myself flow.
As the wind.
I have gifts.
I do.
I can command the english language to do my bidding.
I carefully construct my sentences.
I have a certain control over every word.
And I don't always remember this.
This is my power.
God has armed me with my words.
And I must choose what to do with that.
I should serve the Lord with my words.
But I must find a way to do so.
But not just any way.
The right way.

empty me

2009-11-15T22:40:10Z

I just want to vomit.
It feels like my heart is bursting.
Stupid stupid stupid people.
Making stupid stupid stupid decisions.

Let the Lord fill this generation.
This stupid generation.
I'm ashamed of my generation.

I won't be around this ever again.

all the words in my mouth

2009-11-14T20:24:26Z

I'm finding myself through my words once more.
I always come back to this.
It just comes natural I guess.
But I really don't think I'm very talented.

Also, the concert last night was incredible.

oh what a skill to have

2009-11-13T03:22:27Z

I've met someone that makes me feel seasick.

my mind is not your terrain to plow

2009-11-10T18:03:02Z

I feel like I'm the same damn song stuck on repeat.

intentions

2009-11-10T02:30:18Z

Had Moes tonight with Rachel, Brandon, and Connor.
Lovely evening.

Hey guess what?
I'm failing at school.
AGAIN.

vegetarian sushi

2009-11-04T21:09:55Z

I can't wait for youth tonight.
I can't wait till Eckerd College Day.
And then I can't wait for the Say Anything concert.
And then some delicious vegetarian sushi.
Mmm.
I'm so glad I'm a vegetarian.

following the water

2009-10-30T18:35:56Z

Skycrest Youth Retreat in less than one hour.
A full weekend.
Alot can happen in one weekend.
=]
Let's hope at least.

i'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away

2009-10-29T16:48:50Z

So, I don't know.
=]
I'm hungry.
For some hospital food.
And for some love.